Pain of One's Dream

Living in this world,
we cannot truly relax.
Even we lying down,
we will keep thinking about our problem,
thinking about how or what we do for tomorrow...

"Work hard toward your dream.
Tada sore dakede!! (That's all to it!!)
No matter the result."

That's the word I heard one day
and started to think deeply about it.
I remember that time I was ending my education,
and I thought I should think clearly about my future,
about what I want !

Trying hard to reach my dream,
realize that dream is something we think we can hold close,
but in fact is far.
Dream always seem so close and yet far to reach...
True that dream is not easy to reach,
there is lots of obstacle,
time, quietness, pain, darkness...
They all come in different ways and hitting hard when you are down.
Sometime I wanted to give up,
but thinking how I will regret after this,
I choose to press on...

The pursuit and taking step toward dream is hard,
but the hardest part is...
when no one understand it,
and no one supported u.
[FAMILY] They keep on asking and pressure you to take the step you didn't want to take;
step that they think is the best for you.
They care more about your future than your feeling.
It's a rough world.

Sometime, I kinda envy those people living in this world.
the world is choke full with problem and they still live on everyday.
Why are we born? and what we born to do?
The answer is always on our heart,
but it is the hardest to find.

Laugh or cry, it's for us to decide.

By: Takama Raigin (a.k.a: yin)

~A Paint to Remember~

When I was young,
I saw other people beating someone,
from that day I swear to myself,
I don't believe in such thing as love that cannot be seen.
Human will not understand each other,
that what I have been thinking.

The sunshine that shine above the sky,
one strike, one strike,
like striking pain in my heart.
I wanted to shout out load and curse on the wind,
so they can bring it away.
But no ones heard my shouting,
nor the wind is carrying it away.

When I was small,
my teacher asked us to paint the colour of the sky.
But the sky I saw was always gloomy,
so I painted the sky in dark blue and black.
My teacher keep saying that this is not the colour of the sky,
it suppose to be light blue and white.
That time, I didn't understand why or what its means.

Until now, the sky I look is still gloomy.
Human never change, history always repeated.
But the sky is a bit different from before.
They are not all dark blue and black.
I see a little of light blue and white too,
even that they are little and hard to notice.
Yeah, that's right, I see HOPE !!

Even the world we in are full with darkness,
they are still some people,
a small handfull of people,
trying to change it to light.

Those effort are little,
and they are struggle to stay,
they may been washed away by the darkness,
but as long as one small light stand,
there is always hope.

I started to realize why teacher are teaching children,
to paint the sky in light blue or white,
rather than dark blue or black.
They are planting something in those children,
a seed, a hope,
that someday may become a tree.

My Heart, My Soul

Open up newspaper this morning,
seeing every news is nothing but disaster,
nothing good or happiness been reported on the paper,
the sadness let me keep asking myself:

Do I still remember or I not remember?
The pain I had before I grow up.
The only "memory" that I don't want to remember,
stopping it keep coming out from my brain.
The merciless memories seem to have no intention of forgiving me,
If I close my eyes, they will always try to come back at me.

Scar may heal in a gentle place, at a gentle pace,
but the place is at an unreachable distance,
that seems to be hard within reach.
People cannot understand each other,
That's why making scar harder to heal.

Look at the scene outside the window,
the sun shine brightly.
Hearing the sound of wind whispering around my ear,
they all are sound of my heart !!

Living on this world,
struggle everyday to find that "something".
That "something" that can prove of my existence.
And then I notice, that "something" is "bond".
Or what people called "relationship"

Always wonder how strong this "bond" will be,
or how long this "bond" will last...
But one thing for sure,
this "bond" grow weaker as time pass ;
when we are not caring for each other.
Until one day it is gone,
and we started to feel our existence is threaten.
Then we started to realize,
what really important to us, and what we always searching for...


By : Takama Raigin(a.k.a. : yin) 银天

Endless Rain

Today the rain fall again;
And the rain keep falling.
It rain toward my gloomy heart.
Will the rain ever stop? I wonder~
For pretty long, it's been cold.
As the rain drop its like a thing called reality.
Why does the rain choose to fall on me?
It choose me who has no where to escape to?
And no where to take cover from it.
How do I escape the rain that fall endlessly?

When the sunny days in my dream come?
Or the sunny days will remain an illusion.
Nestling close to one another to stay warmth,
I don’t understand those things anymore.
All I feel is cold inside my heart and people around me.
I wish someone can come to save me,
or even give me one word of kindness,
saying:
"Its okay, you'll be fine on your own;
If you are not, we'll be there for you !"

The rain keeps on falling today,
endlessly, knowing no end...
During this Endless Rain, in my room,
Who's memory is overlap with mine now?
I can't stop thinking~

Often I think,
the direction I face is not the future,
I kept chasing after the past...
With this feeling, will I be able to press on?

In this world that is not fair and cold,
the sorrow that I felt toward this world,
its like the scenery of this rain,
falling endlessly, and hurting badly.

I doesn't know when will the world change,
or when will I be able to change to world,
those thing look impossible now.

But what I know,
is to press on in this endless rain.
Hoping someday that the cloud will be tear off,
and the sun shine brightly on sunny days...


By : Takama Raigin(a.k.a. : yin) 银天

*~Colour of my own~*

I still have a long way ahead of me... right?
Why can't I paint the way with my own colours?

I have always alone chasing dream that will never reach...
Weather I will have tomorrow or not it doesn't matter;
Weather the sky above me is dark or blue is still the same on ground.

I understand what I look in the eye of other people is important,
even I can't be me !!
Stop lying infront of me, it only hurt us more.
Show each of ourself what is laying inside our heart.
But who really know the feeling inside my heart now?
My heart is shouting out loud.
Can u hear it?

I am running in this whining road bearing my pain;
and I don't even have place to return to~
All the kindness others showed to me,
I appreciate it.
That is why I want to be strong !!
And I am still on my way.

If I still have a long life infront of me to change thing,
this pain is nothing...
But I still can't stop wondering,
"will I be able to change ?"

Stepping on the road, one step at a time !!!

I didn't know since when it started,
as far as I remember,
I've been walking from the day I born,
toward path that I didn't know where it end....

I always wonder what is waiting for me at the end of the road;
I wonder too did I able to stop when I reach the destination,
or find a new destination and keep walking.

The road I walk come with many obstacle,
some are easy and some are hard.
When I walked by, sometimes it rain and thorny,
but sometime it smooth and sunny.

Stopping to think,
while we busy walking through our life,
sometimes is good to stop and look around;
To see what we are missing.

Sometimes we see a wall on the middle of the road,
it's hard to climb and even impossible to pass it;
Izit dream, or izit limits
That keep me or you going on~

We all always strife to go on,
because this is the way of life.
Even we dunno what is infront of our path,
or what obstacle stand within our way,
This is our PATH !! and we are creating it !!
One step at a time !!

Still' Asking and Still' Going

In this world,
I try standing alone.
It not that like I want to show the face for other to pity me,
but it's not like I can do everything,
I have to been through this 'life' of mine by myself.
even if I work hard,
even if I try everything,
I wonder who knows it?

In this rotten world,
I just dunno what to do.
I keep asking:
"How do I face this reality?"

Staring out of the window,
I'm looking at nothing.
Still wondering what the purpose of life, and
I've always know that life is hard;
I realize my screaming pain,
crying out loud in my heart,
but I still move on with the pain...

The crying cloud, is like word in my chest.
Sun and moon did not sided with me,
but the cold wind of night chill my heart.
Sometimes I wonder,
Izit OK to smile for myself?

I've tired so hard, staying at the borderline of limit.
Starting to forgotten,
what the one thing I dun wan to let go ~
will I be able to stand on top of other people,
or kissed defeat in other people feet?

No ones know the answer to the future,
as future is always change time to time by own act.
Till I reach the 'step' in the future,
What I can do is keep on going while asking...